08.04.2013: At Least I’m Better Than Mediocre
I’The more I think about it, the more afraid I am of college.
I’m about to embark on an epic adventure, away from an incredibly mediocre town of relatively mediocre people, and I’m going to end up in a place filled with people who are way, way, way more talented than I am.
How can I compete with some of these people? Now, I know scholarships are not the best way to judge a person or their abilities, but, financially speaking, there will be people at these schools that the university thinks are more than 4 times as good as me (the ones with full rides). There will be people who have incredible skill at art, music, science, and language. I am above average in some of those things, but that’s about all I can say.
Because being better than average in a lower than average context doesn’t mean anything.
I try. I work hard for the things I want. And I want to be good in school. I want to be able to talk to people whose minds live in places so far above me that my neck hurts from craning my neck to try to understand. How else can I grow?
There was a guy who graduated a few years ago. Ever since his voice changed, he was looked upon as a young god among the theater-goers. He got all the leads. He was a heartthrob. He was so incredibly talented.
He went to an in-state college to major in theater and got slammed.
He was so bad compared to everyone else that he had to change his major. As far as I know, he doesn’t act in college. Because he can’t compete with the people who were born for it. And how can I?
I’m sure I’ll be able to be with some people. Not everyone will be above me. But most people will, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to deal with not being the best anymore. I’ve always been the best. I’ve had straight As my entire life. I just have to keep reminding myself that North Carolina is rated extremely poorly in its education. Being good here is not the same as being good in the real world.
Who knows, though? Maybe I’ll step up my game when I get to college. That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? Grow up? Learn how to adapt? I’m pretty good at adapting, I guess. And I’ll have the benefit of being able to redesign my life, find people I actually like among a class of people with similar interests.
… right?
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